Rejection is an Essential Part of the Creative Process

It’s safe to say everyone above the age of five has experienced rejection at some point or the other.

My first memory of rejection is a bit vague but I know it involved a fine art competition in primary school. We were all supposed to draw something and the best one wins the prize. I remember standing in front of a classroom with the other kids presenting our work and mine not getting picked. I think some of the kids even laughed at my drawing.

I remember crying all the way home that day. I was inconsolable. It wasn’t until my dad got back and sat me on his lap that I stopped wailing.

I will never forget what he said to me that day – “I don’t know why they laughed at you but I know they can never laugh at you if you’re the one with the highest grades and taking the first position” (he spoke in Yoruba).

That statement hit me deep. I went on to score the highest grade every year onwards, from Class 3 to 5.

I’m grateful for that day, even though I had no idea how significant that day would be for me. With my dad tactfully redirecting my pain and embarrassment, he laid the foundation for something I’d have to do, and I’ve been doing, professionally everyday.

 

Creative work and rejection

I don’t know much about other industries but in the creative industry, rejection comes rapidly and often, and it hurts every single time.

It hurts because creativity involves tapping into the deeper cores of your soul. It requires a lot of emotional commitment and courage to bare your soul to the outside world. Then, to have that creation critiqued and shot down, or flat out rejected, is painful beyond measure.

Often, it feels like a part of you is being squished into tiny fragments and the aftermath can be psychologically intense if not properly managed.

Quick career tip for authors: Never ever ever read reviews of your book. Resist the urge. Also, stay away from Goodreads, if you love your self confidence. You’re welcome.

There was a particular month my stories got rejected by so many publishers, I actually gave up writing short stories for about a year. I mean, I had read about how hard it was to get published but my first hand experience overwhelmed me.

Creativity takes a lot of grit. Not only in producing new and awesome stuff, but also in receiving and managing rejection.

But here is the thing – over time I have come to appreciate the rejection process. Of course, no creative person presents his ideas or art with the hope of getting them rejected. But when (not if) they do get rejected, you should welcome it with open arms.

You know why?

Because rejection can make you even more creative, if you handle it right.

 

How rejection helps me write better

Creativity needs 2 things:

  •  a steady supply of diverse content for stimulation
  •  a feedback mechanism.

Rejection is simply feedback on steroids!

It forces you to look again at your work, exploring it from new angles.

I’ll use an example from my day job which involves a significant amount of writing everyday.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), my boss is also a writer and she has very high standards. We publish articles in two national newspapers every other week and every month.

However, the journey from blank page to press is always rocky.

I’ve poured my soul into some articles, writing and editing all night to meet a deadline, only for my boss to say, “This is not good enough.”

I’ve written articles that I swore couldn’t be improved upon, only to be told to go back to the drawing board and bring back something better. As depressing and often painful as that usually feels, I always end up coming back with something better.

Everytime.

Creativity is like a precious resource – you have to dig deep to reach the good stuff. And when you think you’ve run out of it, you dig deeper.

With experience comes the tendency to be complacent, lazy even. When you’ve been writing professionally for a few years, you can more or less do your job with your eyes closed. So we tend to “phone it in”.

Eeeh, whatchu gonna do?

Well, rejection is a really loud wake up call.  

No matter how good you get, you will still face rejection.

Tobias S. Buckell puts it this way – “I have oppositional defiance in me. Being told I suck fuels me to try harder.“ (Read the full article).

I like that. I think every writer should have that kind of attitude towards criticism and rejection.

Rejection, even though it hurts, can also be helpful, if you let it.

It also helps if you quickly learn to distance yourself from your work.

Like I always tell my friends – “Don’t tell me what I did well. Tell me what I didn’t do well. You don’t need to pamper me. I know I can write, I just want to write better. So tell me how I can do that.”  

I’m also reminded of this quote:

Be prepared to get knocked off the pedestal that all copywriters, art directors, and designers put themselves on. Because, when you think you’ve done your best, the right leadership will always tell you that you can do better, and they’re almost always right. – Mishal Jagjivan

I really love this quote because it is so true.

You can always do better.

Does it mean more work? Yes.

Is it worth it? Usually, yes.

In August, I wrote this piece for The Guardian on development and women inequity. I must have rewritten that piece several times over before it got a pass mark from my boss. I actually gave up on it at one point and simply moved on. But my boss didn’t want to give up on the idea. So she kept on my back.

I’m grateful for that because it is a really important piece and when we finally published it, the response has been humbling. In fact, if you walk into Lagos Business School today, right there on the screen behind the receptionist, you’ll see excerpts from the article, displayed for all staff and visitors to see.

It’s been there for two months and counting.

It resonated that much!

Everytime I feel exasperated and dejected at having my work rejected, I remember how much work it took to write something that really mattered, how many times it was rejected, how many times I started over and came up with something different each time.

Truth be told, the more awesome you think your work is, the more it needs to be critiqued. We are often too myopic to see the flaws in our creation, so flat out rejection is usually the only remedy.

Rejection is part of the creative process.

Expect it. Embrace it. Use it.

 

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Writing Well For a Modern Audience: Rule #1 – Use White Space

Rules are meant to be broken.

I’ve heard that somewhere before, can’t remember where.

It’s a lie.

A more accurate statement would be, “Rules are guides and they can be broken but you must be armed with a “why”. A writer should only break rules when he knows obeying the rule is counterproductive.

Like I mentioned in the previous article, rules are not mandatory. They are like safe havens you run to when in doubt. You can ignore them but only when you know what you’re doing.

If you’re just starting out however, you need to appreciate rules.

Writing is a lot like juggling. It involves you throwing up so many words and ideas onto the page, trying to deliver some measure of coherence in your story. As you juggle, rules are your training wheels. They help you build your confidence and ensure you don’t get egg yolk on your face as you do your juggling act.

There’s a universe of incredibly useful rules out there. Today, we’ll be discussing the use of white space.

White Space

Let’s do a quick test. Which do you find easier to read?

This? :


Or this:


There’s a reason that first article has gotten 81,000+ claps on Medium (mindblowing, by the way!). The text is way easier to read than the second one which is clunky and claustrophobic.

The difference is the use of white space.

What is white space?

Whitespace is the portion of a page left unmarked or blank. It is the space between your words, sentences and paragraphs.

Quick note: even though it’s called white space, it doesn’t mean the actual space must be “white”. The blank space may be filled with any color as long as it is free of any text or words.

White space is all about formatting.

“Alternatively referred to as spacing, white space helps separate paragraphs of text, graphics, and other portions of a document, and helps a document look less crowded.”

White space is one of the tricks in a good writer’s repertoire. It’s way up there in the “tricks that will improve your writing exponentially” category.

White space gives your writing a shot in the arm, albeit in a covert way. Readers rarely notice your use of it unless you use it poorly.

So why do many people refuse to use it?

I don’t know but I have a hunch. I’ll use myself as an example.

I wrote my first essay (or composition exercise if you attended a missionary school like mine) in Primary 2. The topic was “What I Like About Myself”.

Just before giving us classwork, my class teacher scribbled four “rules” on the board:

Rule 1: Essays have 3 parts. Introduction, Body and Conclusion.

Rule 2: The introduction and the conclusion are one paragraph each.

Rule 3: The body has between 3 to 5 paragraphs.

Rule 4: Limit each paragraph to carry just one point each. Only one.

She spent about 30 minutes explaining each rule and its implications.

As my first introduction to prose writing, this would become the foundation of my career, who knew?

That was over 20 years ago.

It’s been several years of classes, courses and workshops, and more rules have been added. However, Rule 4 stuck with me. It’s safe to assume most literate people have this rule stuck in their heads as well.

To be clear, it’s a good rule, when taken in context.

Limiting each idea to a single paragraph helps you to reel in your thoughts and gives your writing some structure and clarity. In fact, it’s a great rule for kids learning to write prose. It’s also helpful if you’re writing for a print publication because space is a premium on that medium.

Weirdly, one of the things that put me off reading newspapers when I was younger was the cluster of words on each page. They looked so intimidating!

However, as a professional writer, Rule 4 has officially run its course.

We’re in the center of a digital revolution that means most of the prose being generated today will not be consumed on a sheet of paper but through a screen of some kind.

This means that, space is no longer at a premium – you can have as much white space as you want when you write.  

Look at all that beautiful white space!

However, using white space takes practice. It’s not as easy as saying, limit every paragraph to 4/5 lines of text (even though that’s a good start).

Using White Space

As a writer, think of yourself as a director. You’re in charge of what people experience when consuming your work. You have the control, whether you know it or not.

The trick to using white space is putting yourself in the reader’s shoes.

It’s easy to get lost in the writing itself as you try to capture your thoughts and give them life. But it’s also important to view your writing from the readers’ perspective.

How I do this?

Imagine yourself giving a presentation., let’s say a TED talk. The hall is packed with people ready to hang onto your every word. You have a 10-15 minutes for your presentation.

How do you deliver it?

You could decide to cram your words and sentences together, rushing through your presentation. That’s a bad idea though. It doesn’t matter how clever or original your ideas are, rushing will exhaust your audience quickly, or worse still, bore them.

On the other hand, I’ve watched a few TED talks and I noticed the best presenters always pace themselves. They pause often, sometimes for dramatic effect, sometimes to ask rhetorical questions, sometimes to let the audience soak in the gravity of what has been said (or about to be said).  

It’s subtle yet incredibly effective. It engages the audience and enhances the presentation.

Think of your articles as a presentation and the reader is your audience. Cramming your words together is like rushing through your presentation. We’ve agreed this is a terrible idea.

Instead, use white space the same way you’d use pauses during your presentation. As you write or edit, whenever you come across a sentence you feel you’ll pause before saying, start it on a new line.

Like this.

See?

It’s easy.

As a personal rule, I keep my paragraphs at a maximum of 3 lines, 4 maximum.

You can give your writing even more “pauses” using bullet points and sub headings.

Using white space is like a sculptor taking a block of text and chiseling at it till the project looks good, smooth, pleasing to see.

Without adequate white space, your writing looks claustrophobic, unfinished. And if it looks horrible, it will be hard to read.

When writing, your ideas are important. But if you want to give your ideas to have legs, to travel far, you have to work on your presentation.

So go on, start experimenting with white space today.

Cover Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Improve Your Writing With George Orwell’s 6 Rules of Writing Well

I recently saw a video of noob trapeze artists undergoing training. It’s not a particularly impressive sight.

Aside from their rigorous workout regimen which they maintain daily, they practice routines while harnessed with safety lines and swing above a safety net at all times. It’s not fancy but it is a necessary step on the path to wowing crowds with their death defying feats some day.

Writing is sort of the same.

While writing, like most artistic endeavours, can not be regulated, there are rules to this thing. Those rules ensure you don’t commit literary suicide on the pages of a blog or book. They also help you gain a footing since having literally millions of words available to you is a recipe for disaster.

George Orwell’s 6 Rules of Writing

When I was starting out, George Orwell’s 6 Writing rules was my first introduction to the world of writing well. So it is only fitting that I start this tutorial series revisiting them.

George Orwell’s 6 rules were the rails on which I built my style. No passive sentences, no clichés, no jargon, they all helped me quickly settle into a rhythm for what good writing should look and sound like.

I hope they help you too.

Rule 1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print*

*Replace print with wherever you currently get your news

When writing, writers scramble to capture and convey their thoughts with the best words. Unfortunately, we are predisposed to take the easy way out which means, we’ll use the first word or phrase that our mind conjures. Due to years of reading and consuming media, our minds are accustomed with clichés. That’s because they are easy and memorable.

But clichés are your enemy.

Regardless of which language you’re writing in, there are a hundred and one quite a few phrases that have been used to death overused. Avoid these like the plague as much as you can. Truth be told, you can’t totally eliminate them but by drawing your attention to the effect they have on your writing, (it makes it weaker not stronger), this is a very needful first rule. It also encourages you to try harder to avoid them and reduce their frequency.

Seriously, aren’t you tired of seeing things like, bury the hatchet, an ax to grind, viz a viz, out of the blue, a can of worms, armed to the teeth, easy as ABC, beat around the bush and so on?

These phrases are functional but forgettable. Most times, when you encounter such phrases in other people’s writing, your brain sort of hibernates cos it’s familiar and therefore boring. As a writer, using clichés makes you mentally lazy and also weakens your writing.

The next time you’re writing and your mind offers you clichés as the easy way out, turn it down and send it back to think up something more creative.

Rule 2. Never use a long word where a short one will do

A better way to write this is, never use a complex or long word when a short and simpler one will do the same job, sometimes even better.

This is Patrick Obahiagbon, former member of the House of Reps 2007 – 2011 and a legal practitioner.

wp-image-78475410

But you wouldn’t know that if you Googled him. From the search results, you’d think he was a circus act or a comedian. Nobody takes him seriously, even when he’s making a lot of sense. Why? That’s because he speaks using the most advanced and complex words in the English dictionary.

It’s worse when you’re a writer. Using big, long, or complex words will produce the wrong results, turning off your readers and making you sound conceited.  

Academics suffer the most from this. It is as though they are expected to sound complicated when the purpose of academia is to make knowledge accessible and understandable for as many people as possible. Ironically, I’ve also found that the ones who can bridge that gap – who can talk to their fellow academics as well as regular people like us, in clear and easy ways – end up breaking boundaries in their fields and crossing over into the mainstream.

The joy of writing is being able to convey your ideas clearly and skillfully. Using big flashy words impresses nobody. Complex and long words are not necessarily smarter. They are definitely tougher to read and understand. So, if there is a simpler, shorter word, use that instead.

Rule 3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out

I’ve talked quite a bit on self editing in past posts.

If you plan to go the long mile in this writing thing, one thing you must constantly do is, self edit. Or as Stephen King puts it, kill your darlings!

That’s right. Just because you wrote it and you liked it doesn’t mean it must make it into the final draft. Nope, there’s no such rule.

The rule is, if the sentence/paragraph will still make sense without the part under scrutiny, then edit it out. The more words we use to make a point, the less diluted its power is.

Be like Ernest Hemingway who allegedly wrote a short story in 6 simple words, For Sale: baby shoes, never used.

It takes skill to do something like that. Heck, I want to do something like that! That’s something we all should aspire to.

As you age as a writer, your aim should be figuring out ways to use less to tell more.

Rule 4. Never use the passive where you can use the active

Which one sounds better?

The ball was kicked by Adam” vs “Adam kicked the ball

I’m guessing you picked the second one. That’s because it uses the active voice rather than passive.

The active voice is powerful because it grants the subject matter urgency and oomph! This rule is frequently broken by (you guessed right) academics. Seriously, have you tried to read a research journal? It’s like an exercise in longsuffering. I have a theory for why academic writing is usually that way but it’s still a working theory.

It’s not only academics though. A lot of writers do this especially, mostly because we are scared of being assertive.

Anyway, active voice >>> passive voice.

Rule 5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

Rule 5 is similar to rule 2.

If you are a non fiction writer like me, this is a tricky rule. But it’s still valid.

Over the course of your career, you’ll realise that the whole purpose of the written form is to aid understanding. When your writing is pleasing to read, it is more memorable and your ideas become sticky, gaining wide readership.

A lot of non fiction writing is usually technical knowledge targeted at other people within an industry. Hence the use of jargon. But research has shown that, just because you have a secondary school education, doesn’t mean you can read at that level. The average reader’s sweet spot is the 9th grade reading level (4th year of grammar school if you are in the UK, SS1 if you are Nigerian).

Yes, you read that correctly. Most of us have our reading ability hovering around the same stage it was when we were still in high school. This is why most of the bestsellers write at this level. 

That’s the sweet spot. If you want your work to gain the maximum audience it can, you have to dumb it down and make it simple enough for a 9th grader, even if you are a professor.

I try to run my articles through the readability website to see if I’m within the sweet spot. Quick note: This article is optimized for a 7th grader!

Rule 6. Break any of these rules sooner than saying anything outright barbarous.

I like how George Orwell makes the last rule a disclaimer. It gives back agency and control to the writer, ensuring that he still goes into the writing project with his brain working, rather than just ticking boxes on a checklist.

When you write, everything you do is in service to the reader as well as the integrity of your ideas and thoughts. If obeying any of these rules will end up defeating these two things, damn the rules!

In Conclusion

Since I started writing professionally, I’ve followed these rules religiously. I still do, even though I broke them a few times writing this.

Writing is not easy but it is worth the effort of learning, practicing and getting better at. At the end of it all (another cliché!), what matters is that you put in the effort. I do hope these rules will give you the boost you need to producing better writing.

See you next week.

Header Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash

It’s been almost 5 years, Time to Pay it Forward

When I first started the blog, I wanted to achieve 3 things:

Make money 

I won’t lie. When I opened this blog, I had money on my mind. Money from traffic, money from ads, money money money. In fact, I really did believe I would just punch out a few articles and boom! Watch the dollars roll in.

LMAO!

Yeah I know, it makes me laugh as well.

Fortunately, and in spite of my misconceived expectations, the blog still happened to bring me some value, monetary and otherwise.  I’ve gotten writing gigs and referrals based on someone reading something I wrote and deciding they wanted to work with me.

So things still worked out great in the end….

Get better as a writer

Writing for an audience rather than writing purely for myself, I assumed would help me write better. And help also with discipline.

I also needed a place to display my written work, as I wasn’t employed at the time.

Needless to say, this was/is the most realistic and most successful goal on this list.

Help others write better

This was not a priority for me back then, cos I was just getting into the groove of things myself.

It’s been almost four years now. And even though there’s a universe of things out there I still do not know, I feel there’s some value to be had in paying it forward.

I learned how to write exclusively from the internet.

Every tip, every video, every PDF and ePub I have consumed was from the internet and after thousands of hours learning and practising, I’m making a decent living off these skills.

I figured I owe the internet some payback.

Within the past 4 months, I’ve had several people buzz me asking for advice on how to get started with a career in writing. Or asking for tips on improving their writing.

It was becoming cumbersome to dig up articles, resources etc. And the fact that everyone is unique and we retain our individuality, hence it’s hard to find a one-size fits all approach to teaching an elusive skill like writing.

And so, starting from today, I’m going to be doing writing tutorials (if you can call it that).

There will still be the occasional rant, but for the most part, I’ll be focusing my time and mental energy on the art of writing and how to get better at it.

I’m currently compiling a list of topics to begin with so if there’s anything you would be interested in learning, please leave a comment.

Until then…

15 Things I learned in 2017

Wow, that was a rather quick year.

I still remember doing this end of year review last year (seems like just a few months ago though).

Anyways, it was a quick year meaning there’s so much left to do. I honestly can’t wait to start running.

But before we hit the tracks, I decided to jot down my learnings this past year.

  1. You don’t have to like people to work well with them

Throughout my relatively short career, I’ve worked with truly amazing people who remain friends till this day. This year, I started out on a fresh adventure when I switched jobs. For the first time, I’m working with people… let’s just say I’m not so fond of. There’s just something about their personality that rubs me wrong.

I always assumed this would be a problem for me but the reverse has been the case. It became an opportunity to slow down and practice tolerance, as well as keeping an eye on the bigger picture which is the task at hand.

So, while working with colleagues who are like friends and family will make your work experience infinitely enjoyable, working with “colleagues” has no negative effect on the final output. At the end of the day, you’re at work not to make friends but to work.

  1. Liking your colleagues however, makes work feel amazing

On the other hand, this year I blessed with another amazing boss (warning, gushing sentences ahead). My boss is like a coach, a cheerleader and Albert Einstein rolled up in one. She’s so brilliant, industrious, always bursting with ideas and versatile. I see her tackle new subjects with a mental agility people only dream about.

But intelligence does not a decent human being make. Luckily for me, my boss is fiercely supportive. She’s like a mom and a favorite aunt rolled up into one. We joke, we laugh, we fight and we kick ass together.

  1. When managing conflict, it’s okay NOT to be cynical

Have you ever been in those situations where you get into a not-so-friendly exchange with someone from which you eventually walk away? Then after several hours you come up with the perfect comeback, but the opportunity is gone. Painful, right?

In the bid not to be outdone, we now have the clapback culture – people sit behind the safety of their keyboard screens, and tear down other human beings.

It’s ugly.

We tend to celebrate it on twitter and laugh it off but truth is, it’s a zero sum game.

Towards, the ending of 2017, I realised managing conflict is a handy skill to have. Unfortunately, over time, my go-to social skill for managing conflict is usually sarcasm. And sarcasm has a twin brother called cynicism. Together, both siblings had grown significantly in my speech and attitude.

I had to consciously avoid using them. The real shocker was the fact that, this was frigging difficult! I kept stifling myself several times a day, just to keep from sarcastic retorts and cynical comments.

But stifle we shall.

  1. Be generous with praise and stingy with criticism

When you’re right, stifle the need to tell people – “I told you so”. They already feel bad enough.

  1. Become a cheerleader to others, especially your family and friends.

It’s easy to overlook those closest to us, I honestly don’t know why. This year, I tried to fix that, popping in regularly to let them know I believed in them and want them to succeed.

  1. Stay away from lazy people

Laziness is contagious. So is an industrious spirit. I learned this the hard way. If you want to improve in anything, first unclutter your life. Lazy people are everywhere – we are friends with them, we chat with them, we make plans with them on how to kill valuable time. There are also really diligent + focused people around. We know them so why not speak with them often, chat with them, learn from them? Let them inspire you to be better.

  1. Stay away from toxic people in general

Toxicity includes people who complain but refuse to do anything to fix the problem. This year, I noticed a lot of people kept seeing problems everywhere around them but they rarely if ever do anything to fix it. I’m not talking about big, national problems. I’m referring to personal everyday issues they face. They simply complain and that’s it. They go on with their daily routine or douse themselves with TV.

Another side of toxicity is numbness. A lot of people are passionless. They’ve lost their sense of wonder. They live for themselves alone, having nothing bigger to live for.

Newsflash: That’s called selfishness.

Been weeding out these people from my life all through 2017.

  1. There’s no such thing as a boring subject

My new job involves a lot of research around financial services, national development and policy. The past 6 months saw me reading, writing and interviewing major financial services ecosystem players in Nigeria and delving into the core of the dynamics of the sector.  On the last day of 2017, my dad asked me to tell him about my new job. And for the next 15 minutes, I talked about the Nigerian financial services sector and my work at the SIDFS initiative of Lagos Business School. You could see the light coming on in his eyes. He asked questions, smiled and nodded several times. Judging by the fact that there was a premiership match going on when we were talking, I think I did a good enough job keeping his attention (dad is a huge soccer fan!).

  1. Be more vocal with what you want

“I want a day off.”

“I want a raise.”

“I want to work from home twice a week.”

As long as you think it is valid, go ahead and ask. The worst that will happen is a no. And then you’ll be right back where you were just two seconds ago before you asked. So what exactly are you scared of again?

  1. People will always try to exploit you if you allow them to

I love helping people. And some people caught on to the fact that, Ibukun likes helping out. So they exploited it. This bothered me until I realised something – I do this shit cos I like doing this shit!

I’m doing it cos I care but I’m also doing it cos it feels good to help!

Most times, helping out is its own reward. After all, what else would you do? Watch them suffer? That’s worse.

  1. For writers, complement your writing with speaking

Learn how to talk. As someone who makes a living constructing words, I spend a lot of time in my own head. Social media has kind of exacerbated the situation cos I get to bypass speaking and just directly imprint my thoughts on a page.

Until it’s time to speak at a team meeting and I found myself stuttering and “ehmig and i-ing”. It’s really frustrating cos it makes you seem less competent than you really are. As a writer, speaking well can do wonders for your career. It’s a worthy investment.

  1. Love is worth the pain

In the search for love, you’ll go through a lot of disappointments. People will break your heart, take you for granted and mostly further their agendas. Yes, some will treat you right but the heartbreaks usually overshadow the good memories.

Underlying those horrible experiences is change. You’ll learn, you’ll grow, you’ll change. You’ll cry, yes. But you’ll also have some laughs along the way. You’ll learn to recognise and discern crushes. And side step them when cupid wants to shoot you that silly arrow. When love comes eventually, it will be worth it.

  1. Love is worth the wait

While waiting for the “one”, I’ve met loads of people. In the process of meeting and getting to know people, they’ve exposed my weak points. I’m glad these weaknesses are coming to light now and I’m getting to deal with them early. The wait means I get more time to grow. I get to be more patient, wiser, kinder, stronger and more disciplined.

Sometimes I look at the man I’m becoming. And I smile cos I’m growing.

Future wifey is in for a treat.

P.S. I hope you’re growing too!

  1. A lot of what happens on social media is posturing

People are aspirational. And that aspiration translates to social media. We are usually trying to portray an image of what we are, or what we think we are or what we hope to be. Hence, you can’t judge people based on their social media feed/timeline.

While this is understandable, I also believe we need to have integrity. As we age, we should be consolidating not fragmenting. Same life in church, at work, at home and ultimately online.

Tall order? Maybe, but I’m working towards a unified presentation of my life to all. Adopting this mentality has enabled me to re-examine what I share online. Even the discussions I join.

It’s not every conversation you need to join.

  1. Stop putting people on a pedestal, everyone is still figuring things out

Nobody has it all figured out. Even though some folks will not admit, we’re mostly just winging it through life. Unfortunately, it’s hard not to idealise them. And when we idealise them, we set the up to inadvertently disappoint us, big time.

Rather, the right attitude is to give people a large margin of error even though they will rarely ask for it. People are human so they will be selfish, forgetful, opportunistic and entitled.

No surprise. So are you.

So am I.

The important thing is: Are you changing?

Thanks for reading. Happy 2018.