I turned 35 about three weeks ago.
It’s such a perfect number, 35.
When you’re 35, people can’t seem to figure out if you’re young or old.
I mean, you’re young enough to still rock jeans and hoodies like it’s your birthright without looking or feeling like a creep.
It’s the zenith of childhood – you can get away with sleepovers, movie marathons and pizza for breakfast and dinner.
But it’s also the zen zone of adulthood – you’ve sort of made peace with the responsibilities that ship with being an adult, you’ve been at it for a few years and learned a few tricks along the way.
Age has made you a bit weary but not enough to make you cynical or bitter.
Yeah, 35 is the prime of life!
This year, I’ve been meditating a lot about foresight. How powerful a gift it can be. There’s a reason why it’s the stuff of legends, movies and the stock market.
Then we also have time travel, which is kinda like hindsight on steroids. Writers sure love their wish fulfillment!
I found myself thinking a lot about where I was mentally, physically, financially about 15 years ago (I was 20).
I was at such a low, it was impossible to envision a better future. If ever there was a time I needed foresight, it would be then.
If I ever got a time machine, that exact period would be my first stop.
However, sci-fi has taught us that changing the past leads to unforeseen consequences, and truth be told, my life is awesome enough today not to want to change a single thing.
So rather than changing the past, I’d rather just go back and give myself a pep talk.
I wrote a fictional story on how that conversation would go.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I liked writing it!
Me: Hey kid. I only got a couple of minutes with you. You there?
Client 020: Sorry who this?
Me: Let’s just say a stranger from the future
Client 020: Riiiiiight. I’m gonna block you now.
Me: Okay, wait! Your mom’s middle name is Anna and your first ever crush was Linda, right?
Client 020: [shock emoji] Whoa! Okay, that’s creepy.
Me: Not if you’re messaging yourself from the future. Hi stranger! [😁😁]
Client 020: Hmmm, okay. I’ll bite. How does this work?
Me: Well, I won a free Timechat promo and it expires tomorrow. So…
Client 020: Nice. I guess my hunch about us being lucky with raffles still works after so many years. Remember that raffle we won when we in primary school? How much was the prize again? 100k?
Me: [😂] Ode. We won a bike. You still dont believe it’s me? Gosh was I always this skeptical?!!
Client 020: Lol. okay I believe you now. What’s up man? And what’s going on in the future?
Me: I err.. Can’t tell you that. Like, I literally can not. If I type any specifics about the future, the app immediately deletes it.
Me: [⛔] Message automatically deleted
Me: [⛔] Message automatically deleted
Me: See? I just tried sending you the winners of the last 2 World Cups.
Client 020: Haha that’s unfortunate. So what exactly can you tell me?
Me: Well, I know mom’s really sick right now. And things are really bad.
Client 020: Yeah…
Me: And I know this is probably one of the scariest times of your life. I remember it was just a few days after our 20th birthday the sickness started.
Client 020: Yeah, day before yday. Her sudden fever is scary baba. And we’re broke so cant buy her drugs. Cant buy food sef.
Client 020: Just tell me she’ll be fine. That’s what counts right now man.
Me: Okay, so I still had leftovers from mom’s birthday cake yesterday.
Timechat: Send gifts over the timeline. Click here to order customised cakes from a vendor near you.
Me: Argh! Sorry for the ads. I’m using the free version of the app is why.
Client 020: Whoa! For reals? Mom I mean. That means she’s still alive. Thank you thank you thank you!
Me: Yeah, we actually all turn out great. Mom, sis, even your big head eventually gets sense.
Client 020: LOOL. That’s fantastic! Say how’s Yemisi? Did she eventually say yes?
Me: Lmao! I forgot I was still crushing hard on Yemisi at your age. Kai! Wo, even if she did, I’m not married currently.
Client 020: Whoa! Why the hell not? Wait, are we divorced? Hei God! [emoji]
Me: Nah, yet to be married. And currently still single. But it’s either this year or next. I can feel it, trust me.
Client 020: Okay. So, 35, single, and a badass writer.
Me: How did you know I was a writer?
Client 020: I didn’t. I was just guessing. I figured since the app didnt allow you tell me stuff, I can guess and you’ll just confirm. Which you just did!
Client 020: I’m sure you see the irony in saying that to me [😏]
Timechat: You have less than 3 minutes remaining
Client 020: Whoops! Time’s almost gone. What else can you tell me?
Me: Let me see… Well, we love our “writerly” job. The pay is good and your team is great.
Me: You’re gonna feel loss in a deep way when you’re 29. Don’t worry, it’s not mom. But it will hurt almost as bad.
Client 020: Ah! Maybe you should stop…
Me: You’re gonna be quite confused in your 20s. Like, a lot!
Me: But 29, you’ll hit a breakthrough and your life begins to make sense.
Client 020: Guy, you no dey hear word abi. I said…
Me: And, I think in a few weeks, the most important thing that’s gonna happen to you, is gonna happen to you. You’re gonna…
Timechat: Chat closed. Thank you for using Timechat. Enter another coupon code to resume the conversation.
P.S. In a few weeks, after a series of incredible events, ‘Client 020’ is going to walk into a church and accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and personal Saviour.
It does change everything!
Thank you for reading. Here’s to Chapter 35!