I’ve always had a dream of the perfect job.
– Wake up to write by 7am in the morning,
– Take a break by noon,
– Have lunch on the balcony facing the ocean,
– listen to Shania Twain in the evening while strolling on the beach with the missus.
In essence, doing all the things a 9 to 5 job will not permit you to do.
I know lots of people also have that dream, of one day quitting their 9-5 job. But let me ask a question I recently asked myself: do you have the right dream?
Are you in love with the idea of not working? Or do you really just want to spend all day doing things you actually care about?
If you have dreams of being an author, are you in love with the idea of being a writer? Or do you really want to write? To write is to change the world. To write is to expose yourself to cynics, critics, pirates and never enough fans.
To write is to give.
I like to write, to read, to learn, to understand why things are the way they are. To explore new worlds and experience adventures beyond real world possibility.
It’s good to ask these questions and provide brutally honest answers to them because, the truth will set you free.
I went on this brutal truth journey. Here is what I discovered about myself.
I hated school. Rather than being given the opportunity to follow your imagination, being creative and exploring new ways of doing things, you were forced to cram for tests and exams. If you tried to be too clever, you got marked down by your lecturers. After a while you get bogged down into a rut. And having to rein in my creative juices was, believe it or not, pretty depressing.
I thought blogging would be different. I thought it would be easier. I thought it would be fun. Afterall, it’s just writing stuff all day, everyday, right?
Blogging is definitely more fun than being a robot that just regurgitated info. But it is damn hard work. It’s the hardest work I’ve ever done.
It’s Emotionally Demanding – I face self doubt everyday, wondering if I really should be writing. Wondering if I’m good enough. I have a voice behind my ear that whispers, “Stop wasting your time. Nobody wants to read this nonsense. Get another hobby.” Some of my competition spend 4-8 hours on a blog post! Some rival bloggers have 5-8 years of archived content! That’s enough to discourage anybody.
It is Mentally Draining – A weekly goal of at least 2 blog posts per day seemed like a good idea during the first few weeks I started this blog. But the reality dawned some 5 posts later when I realized I had to write 104 posts – well thought out, fresh ideas presented in logical and entertaining new ways. Let’s just say the coffee machine gets a good workout. All these coupled with the fear of failure and I wonder why I’m not yet seeing a therapist.
And Physically Dangerous – Sitting hunched over a computer keyboard is not the best posture for a young adult. I go to bed with cramps.
But the catch is this: despite the fact that it’s hard work, despite the insecurity, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Writing is a passion thing. I’m passionate about writing, about telling stories, about learning and sharing information with others.
Recently someone told me I influenced her decision to start her blog. Getting up in the morning thinking, “maybe I can get another person to feel like that” is a good enough reason to keep coming back to this keyboard.
And that makes it worth it. Everyday.